There is this one thing i seriously regret, my mom went and spent a lot of money on organic veggies, fruits and almond butter for a detox thing and it sounded great (this was like 8 months ago btw)
The day we started (around 8) it was a smoothie that was only blueberries and almond butter and honey...it was fantastic but when it came to 11 am we were supposed to eat a soup made of a lot of baked and blended veggies but still insanely full from the smoothie, i tried forcing it down but couldn't
The problem, my sister and said we couldn't handle this another day and i quickly gotta outta the chair and walked into the house and told her and I remember how sad/disappointed she looked, She was really into it and instead of pushing through it for her I ruined it.......Even though this was months ago I still feel like pure shit about it because she I are just sitting here gaining weight and having breathing problems because it (probably other problems but this is all we really know) and seriously hating on our bodies everyday (though i keep it quite and she says it out loud) I just wish there was an easy way to lose weight for both of us now
(this is part previous thing and now mostly other)
Though i admit some of her eating habits are cuzz her shitty bf stresses her out and doesn't do shit around here other that pay the bills......I wish we both had jobs so she'd have her own income and get rid of him and Im just sick sitting around doing nothing, watching my sister get everything she wants or needs and im literally in this room with a shitty old pc, tiny tv with crappy color and a bed and small dresser with like very little clothing and there is tons of stuff i want to do or buy.....and.....its also lonely.....but at the same time my mother cant stand to be alone, im kinda worried about what would happen to her if i got a job, saved up and moved away like ive panned so many years........
same about my grandma, she cant drive anymore so we go grocery shopping for her.....my mother rarely see's her......so many things are keeping me here but there are so many reasons to stay that i haven't even said.....
I just don't know what to do anymore and its really getting to me in so many ways.......
Listening to: Nothing
Watching: TheMadBoBomber on Twitch